9 month old son...

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...was diagnosed with cerebral palsy last week. I feel like my life AND his is over. I am going to seek professional help via a referal from my doctor but until then I feel I am going to lose my mind/have a nervous break down. I avoid my friends because all of them have healthy children...please SOMEONE who is in the same boat as me tell me SOMETHING positive.

 
By JessicaC on Tue, 08-30-11, 19:19

my father ditched because he couldn't handle my sister being disabled... he still has nothing to do with her and when my mother passes I will become her guardian. I get angry at him but I don't bother saying anything to him. I love my sister, she is who she is... she is sweet and funny and loving. Your son is the same kid he was before he was diagnosed. love him the same... his disabilty is not HIM. love him, support him and have hope for him. Cerebral Palsy effects everyone differently... he may be severe;y disabled by it or end up nearly perfectly able-bodied... give it time, study up on it, be his biggest supporter. look at his sweet little face, he is your little boy. I have a 9 month old son too by the way :)

I was about to do something awesome again, but I told myself, "Enough is enough! That's plenty of awesome for one day."

"They say that marriage is about making two lives into one... nobody told me that meant we both would end up becoming HIM"

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By tperrott1991 on Thu, 09-08-11, 18:43

I completely agree with JessicaC! My twin sister was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy and the doctors told my parents she would never be anything but a vegetable and have no personality. She is neither. She has a fantastic personality and has some function. She needs full time care but she is unique and in her own way. Yes there is negative with people with Special Needs but you also get some positives that most people will never experience!

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By JessicaC on Thu, 09-08-11, 19:52

My sister has changed so many peopels lives just by being herself. My mom ran a daycare for 35 years and so many kids have become sensitive supportive understanding people because oftheir exposure to my sister.

I was about to do something awesome again, but I told myself, "Enough is enough! That's plenty of awesome for one day."

"They say that marriage is about making two lives into one... nobody told me that meant we both would end up becoming HIM"

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By Survivornow on Sun, 09-11-11, 17:14

I have Cerebral Palsy and was diagnosed at a young age. Today I am 24 years old, have a wonderful husband, and 1 year old son. I work and also live on my own. I led a normal life other than the addition of my walking aids. I started in a wheelchair but was very lucky. This does not have to be an end of the world diagnosis. I would not change my life even if I could because I know had I been born with "normal" abilities I wouldn't have had some of the other awesome opportunities in life. Word of advice, my mother felt her world ended with my diagnosis as well and it showed in the way she spoke to and cared for me, so be careful. I PROMISE CP is not the worst thing that could happen.

You will never change until the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.

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By JessicaC on Sun, 09-11-11, 15:37

I would think your child needs to be treated as a "normal" child as much as possible... take him to play groups with other children, let him figure things ou himself... he can adapt, kids are amazing. Put him out there and sit back liek the other parents and let him see you smile. Survivornow... what do you think?

I was about to do something awesome again, but I told myself, "Enough is enough! That's plenty of awesome for one day."

"They say that marriage is about making two lives into one... nobody told me that meant we both would end up becoming HIM"

Support Points: 41455
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By Survivornow on Sun, 09-11-11, 17:12

I agree JessicaC, to your son the other kids are the ones who aren't "normal" and he will grow more confident by your example. I learned this when I gave birth to my son last year. He wasn't born with CP but I was worried he wouldn't bond with me because I was different and I know now that he learned how to be a child of a parent with CP because he knows no different. You never know your son might teach you a thing or two. I know its hard to hear at a time like this but I do believe everything happens for a reason.

You will never change until the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.

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By Survivornow on Sun, 09-11-11, 17:21

HAWKMAN also know that there are so many aide groups like the Scottish Rite Hospital, Shriners, Early Childhood Intervention (ECI), Camp Easter Seals, Rocky Top Therapy services and so many more I could name that I was involved. These organizations not only helped my parents cope but also me to thrive. Good Luck!

You will never change until the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.

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By Sha on Tue, 09-13-11, 10:18

Don't give up....for everything in life there is a reason, and somethings we don't choose but are chosen for us. My son is now 12 yrs old, I've been divorce for 2.5 yrs but pretty much have taken care of him all his life by myself. I work a full-time job, and when I get off I continue to care for him, he is totally dependent on me and others. In spite of his disabilities, he's a joy and he makes my day, and your son will do the same for you. Don't compare your friends and their children with yourself and your son, you're a special mom just like your son is your special son, that goes back to the chosen.....Pray, and pray a lot, seek all the services, therapy you can get for your child, and all that you are able to do with him do it.

You will be surprise of the positive change your son will make in your life and the lifes of others.....It's not the end of your life or your sons, it's the beginning new Blessing to come....Keep your head up

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By icandothis on Tue, 09-13-11, 18:01

Dear Hawkman: First of all, what you are feeling is absolutely normal, however, as time goes on you will see that you have more strength than you believe is possible. By all means, please seek counseling to work through your feelings. As the mother of a daughter with severe cerebral palsy and a special ed teacher of children with severe disabilities, I have been there and back again. Often, having a child with any type of medical, physical or mental problem, no matter how big or how little, is a grief process. You grieve for what is not normal or what you cannot fix. You will go through all same grief stages just as you would if someone very close to you died. All parents want what is best for all children and when we can't "fix" or change things, it is often devastating. You need to look at your child through new eyes and celebrate what he or she can do. You must always have high expectations but take those with a small dose of reality. The good thing about cerebral palsy is that it does not get worse. There are many different kinds and the actual handicapping condition can manifest itself in different ways. Get him/her (I'm sorry I don't know what sex your child is) a really good doctor you can trust. Remember that not all doctors or care providers are experts at everything. See if you can find other parents in the same situation or research support groups in your area. There are some very good books out there. I have often thought of writing one myself with lots of tips that will make it easier for the child and the family. All children are blessings regardless of any type of problems. You will and must become your child's best advocate and unless you are God, there is no way to predict what will be or not be or how much your child will be able to do. I think you will be surprised to see just how smart your child really is. He or she may not be able to do something physically but if you know what to look for, find something good he/she can do. How bad is the cerebral palsy? Is your child mobile? Does she/he have other health problems? You must be very proactive in getting the right doctors and the right services. Almost all school districts have some type of infant program for students with disabilities. If they don't, they should be able to refer you to one at no cost. I am not going to lie to you as things may be rough going at many times. My daughter has taught me more about unconditional love and what is important in life than I would have ever learned on my own. I am always amazed by what she can do and how much she knows. She had 8 major surgeries in 3 years and never once cried or complained. She was an inspiration to all those around her. I can't tell begin to tell you how much this meant to me. Hang in there and don't despair, and as I said before, take time to celebrate the small things in life. Don't be so hard on yourself and realize that you are going through so many emotions right now. Let me know if I can be of further help. I would not mind communicating with you as or when you need it. Good luck!

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By Be the Optimal Me on Sat, 01-14-12, 09:51

I have a great friend and colleague that has CP. She used to be in a wheel chair because of horrible balance and coordination, and her vision was in 2d, not in 3d like most of us. She attributes her improvement in function to chiropractic, that is why she became one, and now she is working closely with Frederick R. Carrick PhD, D.C., whose focus is solely on functional neurology. She even hiked up to Machu Picchu in Peru, a feat most people dare not do because of the long walk up the mountain and through the jungle.

Regardless of the diagnosis, if the individual is given the tools and motivation, the can succeed where others fail. My colleague said there her greatest source of strength was the unconditional love from her mom and dad, and the fact that they treated her as normal as any kid, rather than letting her condition become an excuse to treat her differently. It was very hard for her, but she acknowledges that she is a better person for it, and despite the label she had to deal with, she is more normal than some people I deal with on a regular basis, and through her pursuit in functional neurology, she has continued to improve and has made it her life goal to help those that like her, were labeled with a disability. She says that exceptional people are born from exceptional circumstances.

Keep positive, keep the love, and be there for your son. Be his rock in the storm and follow your heart on any decisions that you may make concerning his future. If your friends won't support you, they aren't good friends. Don't set any limits on your child, if they have the drive to push through, enable them.

And in my biased opinion find a highly recommended chiropractor with great reviews that knows what they are doing, that has a perception of chiropractic as being about improving brain/body function, not as being about pain. Montel Williams did a show on Atlas Orthogonal Technique which has helped him with his multiple sclerosis to a certain extent, another brain related condition. Good luck and may life smile upon you.

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